Its about making memories worth repressing
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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