We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize