this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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