I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
