Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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