he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You dont lie about slip and slides
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
