ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
