I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
