Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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