what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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