i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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