Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
