I cockslap morals
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
