Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
