If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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