There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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