I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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