I want to have your abortion
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
