Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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