That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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