Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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