Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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