Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
