oh god the rape fog is back!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
