We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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