Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
