My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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