i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
