I hate your face
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
