That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
