hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize