Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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