i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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