Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize