Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your tits are I can't wait for
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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