At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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