Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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