i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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