Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
