apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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