So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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