when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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