Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize