I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
