Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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