what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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