Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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