GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
