I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
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