Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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