just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
