yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
