Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
