By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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