You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
