we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
